For the Best
by Silver Witch
Summary: M for language and a decision. Ginny's figured it all out. You can't fault her logic. She made up her mind, and doesn't want anyone to stop her. Really. She's got it planned, and timed, and prepared...and she hates it. Chap 2Harry Notices!
1. The Note

I don't know what I was thinking. It's almost the day for Bill and Fleur's wedding. The Burrow is full of people, and all of them calling for me to fetch this or ordering me to get that. I can't stand it. I wish my brother and his soon-to-be wife all the happiness in the world. I wish my parents happy and my so-called friends true joy; and I've even found the way to achieve that a little sooner. I'm taking myself out of the picture.

Don't give me that. I know what I'm doing. I've thought about it. I can explain it all very clearly, and you can't fault my logic. We'll start where I began.

Mum and Dad will soon have a new daughter. They're getting a good, perfect daughter who loves unconditionally, and who's beautiful and talented and graceful, and extremely eager to learn all of those wife-ish spells that have no interest for me.

My brothers have never been all that interested in me. Soon they'll find people to fill any small void I may leave.

Hermione is in love with Ron, I'm sure he'll be able to comfort her.

Harry…he's the factor I can't reason away. He's lost a lot, and it may seem like I'm just after attention, but I'm not after attention. I want them all to get better. They'll be able to focus on what needs to be done. He said it himself! He can't be with me and worry about facing Tom.

That bastard. I'm crying again, just thinking of him. Damn him for this! He killed the Potters. He killed Cedric. He killed Sirius. He killed…me. I don't want to die! I didn't want to die when I was in first year, either. He made me do those things. That voice in my head. Always in my head. Telling me how worthless, how pathetic, how lowbred and truly dreary I was. I am.

I'll wait until the reception. They'll be too busy to notice me missing then, and when they do find…it…oh well. There's nothing I can do about it. I have to inflict a little hurt in order to save them a lifetime of living with me there to make life difficult.

It's all settled. I'm doing it. The tears are really rolling now. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I can't keep inflicting this sort of wretchedness on those I love more than anything. I hate myself so much I feel sick with it. I'm so stupid. I shouldn't even leave this behind…but I have to leave something. They have to know I've thought about this. When they're in shock, I want them to see that it's for the best. I have to end this, now…before it consumes us all.


	2. I Didn't Want to be Saved

A/N: Some of you may have been a little confused by the first chapter, which would explain why I had 147 hits but only one review. (Thanks Fire Princess of Slytherin!) That chapter was the only one of its kind, and was necessary to set-up the rest of the story. It's explained a bit in this chapter, but please, whether you're confused or not, review this story and let me know what you think!

* * *

Harry escaped into the Burrow to avoid shaking any more hands or meeting any more new people. Sighing, he sank out of sight beside the sofa. Bill and Fleur's wedding was beautiful, and the reception was going wonderfully. He was happy for them, but he couldn't stand being around that big of a crowd.

Harry's head dropped wearily against the sofa, but he quickly pulled it up again. There was a damp spot on the upholstery.

"What in the name of Merlin?" he wondered, pressing his hand against the spot. He sniffed experimentally but couldn't identify a scent. From the corner of his eye, he saw a corner of white under the sofa and pulled out a sheet of parchment.

Unfolding it, Harry noted Ginny's handwriting, and folded it again. It would be an invasion of her privacy to read it. He thought about his former girlfriend and realized that she had been very quiet today. All through the ceremony, standing with Fleur in the pale green dress and staring sadly, yet almost resigned at her flowers. Harry discovered he couldn't place her at the reception at all, and a warning bell sounded in his head.

He quickly unfolded the paper and began reading.

* * *

Ginny took several deep breaths and pointed her dad's old wand at herself. For an hour and a half she had tried, but couldn't seem to say the two words that could end it all.

"Ginny!"

Panicked, she stared wildly at the door. Harry was pounding on it frantically, and the nerve she had worked up came crashing back down.

"Ginny! Open the door!" he cried desperately.

Cursing the Fates individually and by name, Ginny stalked to the door and jerked it open, glaring at Harry. He glared right back and pushed his way into the room.

"What do you want, Harry?" Ginny snapped.

"I found this behind the sofa," he informed her, holding up the bit of parchment.

Ginny's heart skipped a beat, but she feigned ignorance. "So? What about it?"

"I read it."

She shut the door and stared at him with a mild interest.

"So it was addressed to you?"

Harry's hand shook, he was so upset. "You know it wasn't. I recognized your handwriting and realized you were a bit off today, so I read it."

Ginny laughed bitterly. "You managed not to see it before then, Harry. Forgive me if I don't swoon, since there was a reason it was under the sofa and not sitting on it. Bugger off."

He reached for her, "Talk to me, Gin."

Ginny dodged his grasp and stared out the window at the reception in the back garden.

"I have nothing to say, Harry, I've made my decision."

"You've made the wrong decision!" Harry shouted.

Ginny's eyes flashed angrily as she turned to face him. "You don't know everything! Who are you to say I've made the wrong decision?"

Harry balled his hands into fists, and released them again. "I never said I knew everything!" he shouted in return. "But I do know that your death isn't going to make anyone happy."

Ginny looked away. "Maybe not at first, but once I'm not in the way anymore..."

Harry came behind her and grasped her upper arms so she couldn't elude him.

"No," he said, and she could hear the pleading in his voice. "Damn it, Gin, people need you. _I_ need you."

"Harry, what good am I?" she cried softly.

He kissed her firmly and felt her clinging desperately to him, tears pouring down her cheeks.

When she could, Ginny murmured, "I really didn't want to be saved."

"I know," Harry whispered in return.

They kissed again, each kiss growing more desperate and frenzied until Ginny noticed they were on the bed.

"Harry, we can't do this."

He gazed at her intently, barely holding her. Harry knew he should let it lie, but he felt so dead lately, and Ginny made him feel so alive.

"I would never make you do something you didn't want to do."

"It's not that, I want to feel alive with you," she told him, unknowingly echoing his thoughts. "But we're doing this for the very worst reasons."

"No, Gin," he said, kissing her again. "For the best."

If anyone noticed them missing from the reception, they never mentioned it.


End file.
